(Posted by someone, not me)
Happy 22nd birthday to you... what will your wish be?
It's exactly 12am.
First time in four years that we are not celebrating your birthday together on this day. And I wonder when you see this post, will it all be too late?
Do you still remember the past four celebrations? I just deleted the pictures from my ipod and I am beginning to feel very sad. One was at Carlton Hotel buffet, and the one last year was a special one for you. Where did we celebrate the other one?
It's also timely that my car has not arrived, or I'd be down in my car driving around and thinking of all the if's we had before I bought the car.
Sometimes I wish we could better deal with our problems like adults, but I just realised that you are still young and you are not ready to settle down yet. It's possibly just me and my dreams for a future together.
Sometimes I wish we could handle our communication better, but I guess I'm the one with flaws. I'm not good at communicating sometimes and you might just have grown tired trying to wait for me to improve. I thought I had improved but it was not enough, apparently.
Communicating: there goes our email; there goes our MSN. I guess you will be pretty happy to not receive my calls that smack of insecurity. I wonder if SMS will die out on us someday soon. This blog is still here.
When I got my work allocation today I was stressed out, partly due to our problem. Just smsed you a happy birthday message; called you to check if you had received it. But you did not answer. My insecurity has sunken to such an unbelievably depressing low that I don't even trust the sms.
Sometimes I wish I had bought the car earlier.
Sometimes I wish we could see stars at night more frequently than ever before they disappear. You disappear. Where, where are the stars? The ones that we used to call ours...
Sometimes I wish I was blind and stupid and my instincts didn't work that well so that I would never have seen what I ought not to see in your emails. But will not knowing the truth make me happy? I don't know.
Most people I know seem to be okay with not knowing the truth for the truth hurts. Like you.
But not me. I guess you are normal and I am not.
I guess you are back to the point about us being different again.
If only we could work towards a common vision of being committed, a shared value of life: honesty, trust and truth.
I'm sorry to invade your private space, but I have no where else to go.
Do you, on your birthday, wish to go the distance with me into the future?
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