“How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind; Each prayer accepted and each wish resigned.”
Each mistake forsook and each worry foresaw; Eternal sadness of the grieving soul. The years becoming, by the years begone. How fragile the love is...
Illusions strengthened with time, Promises weakened in time. Cherished memories rime On accusations denied.
Gregarious soul unsettles the lovers' vow To honour in life the trust and honesty. White lie darkens the animosity; Rancored betrayal besieges love, eternity.
*
Looking at the post on 18-1-6 gives the sense of deja vu that plagues one like a song that never ends. Crossroads after crossroads we travelled, but the heart was not where the feet were along the journey full of rocks and pits, of a multitude of hurdles anticpiated yet ignored.
"Ignored" at least by the guilible one(s) who believed the past can be buried and the flower will bloom again soon. The seed was imperfect to start with and the relationship could not flower into what is known as a happy ending.
I would email this to you if your email has not been tainted. I will not want to send emails to the soiled inbox any more. I will not want to receive emails from your dirtied outbox any more.
I would message this to you over MSN if your MSN account has not been stained. I have removed you from my MSN in an act of spite.
You leave me with SMS for you to hear me and for me to hear you; even that I doubt its pristine quality.
Thankfully I still have your blog.
I don't know about having you in my car when I collect it because that scenario gives me bad memories; we'll have to see.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me. I can't explain why the words hurt me when they should not; I'm a wordsmith. It's like a swordsmith being cut by the hilt of the sword of another.
I still get angry some times, and sad other times. Happy when I see your face in my mind as it was when I last saw it on 14-6-7.
Happy with the many blissful memories when we were together. Happy that I got to see your face for the last time. Happy that I got to touch your face for the last time.
But I wish those were not the last.
Four years going on five, but now back at one. Three more days to your birthday which I cannot celebrate with you as agreed to for better or worse. My heart will be with you even though my self will not. One month can pass quickly; I wonder if one month of longing can erase the one month of pain for me and the four years of pain for you.
I don't know what is my next move. What about you?
Sorrow begets sorrow. How does one trust again? How did I try to make you trust me again four years ago (which, on hindsight, did not really work)?
The diamond ring has lost its meaning. I don't want to see it again.
Perphaps if your true intentions prevail, the tarnished ring bearing your name will once more shine again...
